“I don’t know anyone who has been handed only roses. We all encounter hardships. Some we see coming; others take us by surprise. It can be as tragic as the sudden death of a child, as heartbreaking as a relationship that unravels, or as disappointing as a dream that goes unfulfilled. The question is: When these things happen, what do we do next?” 
― Sheryl Sandberg, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

Option B – in life and in project management you are often called to utilize your next best option. Sometimes situations can swirl wildly such that you are looking at Plan D, E or F even. After collecting 50 years of experience (and hopefully some wisdom) I now believe that resilience is one of the most valuable skills you can develop.

In the book Option B, Sheryl Sandberg and her co-author Adam Grant talk about three distinct philosophies or views across time that people have held about overcoming adversity. The first (and oldest) belief is that people become broken after a tragedy or trauma. This is where PTSD and severe depression is experienced. The second notion of dealing with trauma is the bouncing back – regaining our footing and continuing on from where we were before the adversity hit. The third (and newest) perspective on resilience is that we not only bounce back but we bounce forward after adversity – harnessing  the strength and learning from the trauma to grow and stretch and re-imagine ourselves to do more and be more than we had previously ever contemplated.

I am not sure we can totally decide if faced with adversity whether we will come away broken, bouncing back or bouncing forward but the research seems to suggest that work, some wisdom and some conscious perspective practicing BEFORE we experience great loss may put us on a strong footing for a better outcome.

“Not only do we learn more from failure than success, we learn more from bigger failures because we scrutinize them more closely.” 
― Sheryl Sandberg, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

Perhaps this will help me embrace Option B, C or D the next time.