“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

This quote has been around.  It’s been used, posted, reposted, reused and some might say it is getting tired.  Others, like me, might say that it is such a profound quote because it is true.  In all facets of your life.  Whether it’s parenting or being a friend or providing effective support to your work colleagues.

I have spent most of my career in human resources and the cornerstone, the very foundation of human resources work is relationships.  There have been books written about how to communicate with each other in the workplace, how to build effective teams, how to handle challenging personalities, how to lead, how to engage, how to motivate, the list is endless.  All to illustrate that the human condition is a complex world we navigate every day in our workplaces and human resource professionals place themselves in the midst of all the muck and mire.

My most prevalent value when practicing Human Resources is the value of service.  In that work, I worked in service of my customers.  I strove every day to provide support, to remove obstacles, and to find creative solutions to highly complex challenges.  While abiding by strict guidelines in the form of collective agreements, labour law and organizational imperatives – I still kept the needs of my customer at the forefront of my mind.  How, I asked myself every day, do I make life just a little bit easier for this manager?  In many cases, there was nothing I could do but listen quietly while a manager blew off some steam.

When I moved from a purely HR role into a front-line operations management role I did so with the intent that my HR practice would benefit from experiencing what my managers went through on a daily basis.  It would make my HR practice richer.  What I did not count on was falling in love with operations and leading a front-line team.  So, I am here to stay in operations.  But I had a lot to learn and even as a seasoned HR professional I needed the support of my HR partner more than ever.

Recently I experienced what I had heard many managers over the years complain about . . . “useless HR support”.  No wait – it was not useless – it was ineffective.  After a short email exchange where the HR person told me to “meet with X and review the agreement and report back once completed” over a highly complex highly sensitive situation I seethed.  After 3 sleepless nights spent seething and stewing, I finally came to the realization that at the core of this problem was the value rub for me.  This was not working in service of their customer.  This was directive.  I do not like directive.  It made me feel useless.  It made me feel incompetent.  It made me feel frustrated and misunderstood.

A year from now I likely will have forgotten the details of this exchange, but I doubt I will ever forget the feelings conjured by the experience . . . hence the quote.

I don’t really care that solutions may not be found or that the ultimate solution may be exactly that which was directed but I do need to know that my knowledge and experience is valued and contributes to the search for a solution.  I need to feel a true partnership with my HR person and most importantly I need to feel supported.  I don’t think I am alone in this.  Ask any operational manager you work with.