This quote is from Priya Parker’s TED2019 talk on transformative gatherings.

As we continue with our protective isolation and physical distancing this quote struck me. Parker’s talk was given in times when we could gather around kitchen tables or in coffee shops and her plea was to ensure these gatherings were meaningful, rich and full. While we are gathering differently it may well be even more important to be more purposeful and deliberate in their construct.

Parker’s three steps to make gatherings transformative include:

1. Make the purpose of the event specific to you and don’t blindly follow typical formats.
2. Be intentional about establishing relevance and good controversy for your gathering. Parker makes a point that unhealthy peace is as bad (or worse) than unhealthy conflict.
3. Establish “pop-up rules” for your get-together. This is much like the collective brainstorm of “how we want to work together” conversations at the beginning of large meetings – no cellphones, only 1 person talking at a time, have fun as examples. In social settings these pop-up rules can be more edgy or created to stimulate new patterns of behaviour. These new pop-up rules can also help break down barriers in groups that are coming together for the first time.

As we gather differently than we have in the past, how can you be more intentional about their design and ultimately their impact?