Have you ever caught yourself in a conversation and thought, “wow I am really being negative”? Or have you heard yourself complaining and thought, “Whoa that was harsh”? Of course it is much easier to observe this in others but it is far more impactful when it is your own voice that startles you out of complacency. It is also a big opportunity that has the potential to have a huge impact with ripple effects far beyond you.

The challenge in these flashes of awareness is to activate the “assumption of positive intent”. This is the moment when you take a deep breath and remind yourself that the person who is annoying you or who you are complaining about did not get up this morning with the intent to tick you off, they didn’t plan over coffee to screw up, they didn’t get out of the shower smiling about all the havoc they could wreak in the world. No, like you they got up and dealt with all the things you have to in life – deadlines, kids, partners, garbage day, missing shoes, dogs throwing up on the carpet, a dead battery in the car, an ill parent, overdue bills and a thousand other things.

The person you are mad at, upset with and complaining about is just like you….. in fact there is a better than good chance this person is you when someone else thinks you are incompetent despite your best efforts, when you cannot deliver on another person’s request and now they think you screwed up on purpose or when something you have done accidentally really messes up someone else’s day.

By assuming the positive intent of another you extend an energy of kindness, compassion, and human connection. You would want some to assume the best of you wouldn’t you?